I have tried repeatedly to like the Beatles. Usually, when people are so uppity about some old group I can usually buy into what they’re saying to some degree, but I have never been able to like the Beatles. Sure, occasionally I hear an old song of theirs and like it, but on the whole I can’t listen to them. I knew a girl in High School – one of those “art kids” – who was obsessed with the Fab Four. Funny thing is, when I pointed out how shitty songs like “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” sound in a modern context she tried to pull me to later Beatles (“Yellow Submarine”, et al) rather than the “skittle” songs of their early days. Hilarious.

In that vein, I am hooked on VH-1’s “Top 100 of Whatever” lists. Gimmie five hours with a long list and I’m happy. For the Top 100 Artists of Hard Rock, I couldn’t agree with Led Zeppelin as #1 more. For the Top 100 Songs of Rock and Roll, I’m all about “Can’t Get No Satisfaction”. The top TV Moments was very enlightening (I hadn’t seen most of them). I couldn’t care less about the top 100 Women (sorry) or Dance Songs, and I knew the top Artist was going to the Beatles, but I truly do have a problem with the Top 100 Albums of Rock and Roll.

SPOILER ALERT! The #1 Rock and Roll album, according to VH-1 is The Beatles’ Revolver. Hwua? I’ve never even heard of that album. I figured Sergeant Pepper’s or White Album or something. More blasphemous: Led Zeppelin’s fourth untitled album isn’t even on the list! Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin II and Physical Grafitti placed, but the album with freaking “Stairway to Heaven” on it isn’t on the list! Worst of all is the number of artists and albums which are not Rock an Roll. Madonna, Michael Jackson, Public Enemy, Aretha Franklin, etc. These are not Rock and Roll artists. I’m not saying they’re bad (well, not PE anyways) but they ain’t no rock and roll. Call it the “Top 100 Albums” or add “Poplar Music” to it, but not Rock and Roll. I don’t know what Rock is, but I know what it isn’t.

Anywho, rant over. I’m working on a columns page.